I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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