if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
