Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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