if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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