Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
