Your mouth is God's brothel.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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