Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
