So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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