Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
