batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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