do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
