no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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