It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
