Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
