I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
