I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
