...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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