WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
