Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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