We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
