it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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