Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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