Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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