I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
