Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
