Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
