creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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