New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
