I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
