I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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