It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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