Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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