So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
