i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
