that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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