Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
