she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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