i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
