You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
