This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
