Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
