I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
