thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
