It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
