I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
