What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
