Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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