I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
