You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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