I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
