Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
